Gerard Tanella

Gerard is a proud member of the Fortune community
Loves creative writing and the arts
He is kind beyond measure and loves helping people

Free

I love to engage in self-introspection
This piece may go in a different direction
I have looked in the mirror and at times don’t like the reflection
Let's break it down or do further dissection

Thinking can be wide-ranging or outside the box
I can at times be dumb as a post or sly as a fox
Somehow I always encounter government roadblocks
In case you missed them
Take a look at our prison system

Prison stints leave scars
If you don’t believe that maybe women are from Venus and men are from Mars
Last I checked you don’t get back the time you spent behind bars
Prisons restrict future generations from reaching for the stars
They screw up the children of tomorrow
Leave them full of bitterness and sorrow

Reality is not what the government wants you to see
Sometimes if you’re lucky it can be what you dream it to be
Where Adam and Eve didn’t eat the fruit from the forbidden tree
And every game you play you win
And there is no original sin

That’s not my experience I can’t even pretend it to be
What will it take for me to be happy?
When will I be who I am supposed to be?
The answer is when I am being true to what I want for me
Only at that time will I truly be free

Editing

My mind is an amazing place
Especially at night when it starts to race
Thoughts flashing in and out even I can’t keep up the pace

Remember when the biggest concern was whether a woman was wearing leather or lace?
Or like the song said black panties with an angel’s face
But I digress
Over the details I often obsess
Which led me to anxiety and stress

In my youth I had a mind like a steel trap
I recalled everything even the most minute crap
I recall be disciplined with the strap
Or ducking and dodging to avoid a slap
I was no stranger to the occasional mishap

After law school there was no time for a victory lap
I was searching for who I was supposed to be
I had that vision in my mind’s eye where only I can see
Sadly I could not keep that dream a reality

You know since my dad passed on I wonder about me
How do you honor a memory?
Close your eyes What do you see?
When someone is gone
How do you honor them and let them live on?

Life is a marathon
Sand marks the passage of time
A stitch in time really does save nine
As for memories good and bad I have mine

Memories are what you choose to remember
As calendar years go by January to December
In my mind no need to hold everything
Keep the good moments Practice selective editing

Magic

When I was a child I had a great imagination

On my back you could build a nation

I could do anything in creation

I thought the most amazing things

I thought like George Bailey Every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings

Pawns could become kings

Potential was limitless it had no strings

Then came the day of reckoning

Reality sets in

You take one on the chin

You realize in life you lose more than you will ever win

As you are on your ass you realize your life is in a tailspin

At that moment I grin

In the game of life I am not going to let them win

There is no problem I can’t solve

Dig deep and find your resolve

Get to your feet

Remember you’re here because you practiced deceit

I can’t be beat

Try again lather, rinse, repeat

I can take the heat

Back to the land of make believe

Do not deceive imagine the accolades you will receive

Think of all you can achieve

Even as you grieve

Think again of the greatest idea of which you can conceive

Stop being naïve

Greatness you can still retrieve

Make it your goal

Stop behaving like an asshole

Life is a marathon not a Sunday stroll

To do anything you want you have the skill

You have determination and strong will

You have time to succeed

Do your best in your every word and deed

Not reaching my potential would be tragic

Because I still have inside of me the magic

Out of My Shadow

Crazy things happen in the twilight

Evil comes out that’s why I was born at night

Everyday of my life has been a fight

In my youth my parents taught me wrong from right

Than my moral compass went a rye

When I first decided to lie

I did some unspeakably bad things and can’t take them back no matter how much I cry

I often wonder why?

Where did I go wrong?

That’s a tired song

I won’t play it

No more shit

I’m well educated not a brainless twit

My parents gave me everything in my minds eye tool kit

They shielded me from things they didn’t want me to see

Like the hate and discrimination I encounter in reality

They protected me

Allowed me to grow into the young man I’m supposed to be

Then one day one of your parent’s is cut down like an oak tree

Then you see what kind of man you’ll be

When they are gone

You must summon strength to move on

The baton must pass

It is time for me to get off my ass

I am my father’s namesake

Am I carbon copy or a fake?

Lets see what difference I can make

I hear the screeching of a chalk board scratched by a rake

I am awake

I am not a reject or an out take

Time for me to be my own man

Start my own familial clan

Be the Best I can

My Dad would say “G you’re greater than you’ll ever know Go on and step out of my shadow”

Fear

The emotion no man is supposed to show. But showing fear does that make me any less of a man though? The answer is surely absolutely NO!!! Fear makes us human if you are not afraid at some point in your life you’re not alive. What matters is how you handle fear. Fear can be paralyzing all -encompassing and it can control you if you let it It can eat you up inside if you let it. Fear for me is a motivating factor It is fear of failure that drives me to succeed Fear drives me to strive harder to be a better man in all my words and deeds Fear is something I choose to control and not the other way around I will never give in I will never surrender. I will not live my life dominated by fear.